Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
1:01 pm
The Garden of Prosperine
From to much love of living.
From hope and fear set free.
We thank with brief Thanks-giving whatever gods may be.
That no man lives forever
That dead men rise up never
And even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea.
-Algernon Charles Swimburne
"Garden of Prosperine"
So after much lost hope and conviction that I would never find anyone to take an interest in again...just when I had given up.....my phone rang.....
I have a date tonight. Like a real honest to goodness call you on the phone and asked if you would go out to dinner with them. D A T E.
I've never been on one of these "dates" before. Ever. Dinners and movies and things of that nature usually happen for me after I've been roped into monogamy with someone already. Thus taking most of the fun and excitement out of the activities.
I have butterflies and I've already been through a million outfit possibilities in my head today. Read a hundred and one lovely quotes to try and quell my mischievous mind and twirled my hair until I snagged a piece and ripped some out.
After watching my friend struggle through a dramatic break up phone bout last night and consoling the crying and agony that followed Im a little traumatized to say the least at the thought of personal involvement with anyone again,not to mention I don't think Im getting any better at it with age. Quite possibly the complete opposite. I refuse to let it stop me from dinner and whatever else may happen this evening purely because I am so curious about dating itself. Im not quite sure what is supposed to happen on these things, but I know I cant live my life forever on crappy bar interactions and passing hang out sessions in my living room watching movies and eating cookies with my friends. I've had a secret crush on the dater for quite a while. Like 2 years quite a while and thought that he just wasn't into me..apparently he was just waiting for the right time.... we will see. Do you get flowers and strange things on dates like this? Will he be dressed nice? If I dress nicely will it make him uncomfortable if he's not? I suppose I shouldn't wear heels?
Im terrified of the awkward daters I see every night at the bar and I would absolutely run out of the restaurant if the date turns into one of those silent stare contests where the two people have absolutely nothing to talk about for two hours but are too desperate for company to just throw in the towel and leave. I don't want to drink either my three day sober binge has been good and I feel much better I don't want to get uncomfortable, drink and then end up falling down or into bed with someone that only the alcohol made interesting. Clearly I've tried that approach more than once and it hasn't made me any happier. So with that said I sit at work with butterflies in my stomach going over clever things to say which I will probably forget when I need to recall them and switching my clothes again and again in my head. Thoughts of romance and rejection blazing through my mind. Anyone know of any good restaurants?
From to much love of living.
From hope and fear set free.
We thank with brief Thanks-giving whatever gods may be.
That no man lives forever
That dead men rise up never
And even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea.
-Algernon Charles Swimburne
"Garden of Prosperine"
So after much lost hope and conviction that I would never find anyone to take an interest in again...just when I had given up.....my phone rang.....
I have a date tonight. Like a real honest to goodness call you on the phone and asked if you would go out to dinner with them. D A T E.
I've never been on one of these "dates" before. Ever. Dinners and movies and things of that nature usually happen for me after I've been roped into monogamy with someone already. Thus taking most of the fun and excitement out of the activities.
I have butterflies and I've already been through a million outfit possibilities in my head today. Read a hundred and one lovely quotes to try and quell my mischievous mind and twirled my hair until I snagged a piece and ripped some out.
After watching my friend struggle through a dramatic break up phone bout last night and consoling the crying and agony that followed Im a little traumatized to say the least at the thought of personal involvement with anyone again,not to mention I don't think Im getting any better at it with age. Quite possibly the complete opposite. I refuse to let it stop me from dinner and whatever else may happen this evening purely because I am so curious about dating itself. Im not quite sure what is supposed to happen on these things, but I know I cant live my life forever on crappy bar interactions and passing hang out sessions in my living room watching movies and eating cookies with my friends. I've had a secret crush on the dater for quite a while. Like 2 years quite a while and thought that he just wasn't into me..apparently he was just waiting for the right time.... we will see. Do you get flowers and strange things on dates like this? Will he be dressed nice? If I dress nicely will it make him uncomfortable if he's not? I suppose I shouldn't wear heels?
Im terrified of the awkward daters I see every night at the bar and I would absolutely run out of the restaurant if the date turns into one of those silent stare contests where the two people have absolutely nothing to talk about for two hours but are too desperate for company to just throw in the towel and leave. I don't want to drink either my three day sober binge has been good and I feel much better I don't want to get uncomfortable, drink and then end up falling down or into bed with someone that only the alcohol made interesting. Clearly I've tried that approach more than once and it hasn't made me any happier. So with that said I sit at work with butterflies in my stomach going over clever things to say which I will probably forget when I need to recall them and switching my clothes again and again in my head. Thoughts of romance and rejection blazing through my mind. Anyone know of any good restaurants?
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