Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006
2:34 pm
HOME
Sometimes in the depths of being an adult I walk down the street and listen to my friend wishing he could just go home. I wish I could jut hide for a week at my moms he says and let her take care of me. Like when I was a kid.
A truer statement has never been made. I find myself this week after the month of stress created by my birthday party which in my eyes was a total flop. I m left with an overwhelming sense of fatigue and sorrow. A void created not only by the fact that I turned a year older last weekend but also by the lack of caring and consideration showed to me by my so called friends at the party.Growing older you start to realize how truely fake and uninteresting people are. How personal goals take presidence over simple human niceties and people become goblins of greed scorging the earth for money and fame.
Ive never wished I could go home more than this week. Ive spent a few hours curled in my bed trying to sleep and going over the events of saturday night wishing with all my heart I had just cancelled the party before it became the monstrosity is was. Im glad my stint as a promoter and party hostess is over but I stand alone now scratching my head at the wierdness of the whole situation. I was once so excited about throwing parties so into it so involved spending countless unpaid hours roaming the streets passing out flyers and chatting up strangers .. now I find the general public a nusance and an overated sorce of aggrivation. When did I change? When did it change? and Why? Why do I want to hide now more than ever? When will it be fun again?Will it ever or are my days of socialite status over? Im 25 now and still silly as ever confused and lost in a sea of greedy over active crazy people. I cant swim with the sharks anymore I most certainly dont desire to be one so what now?
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