7:15 pm
Hey fridays are for D&G
So this morning I find myself uncaffineated and sitting in the shop strung up from last night at the bar. Bar work can really get to you when you have to get up at 830 after going to bed @ 330-am. Luckily Im used to it so when trophy wife dripping in Dolce and Gabanna came sauntering in here reeking of expensive perfume and blonde hair dye I was super-hero sales bitch. Bilking her outta $500 before she even knew what hit her. While helping her pick out more useless items to purchase she comments on my shoes.....I just got these sweet cow-print genuine cowhide boots yesterday at a thrift store for $10.I couldn't decide if I should tell her I got them at a thrift store or build the illusion that I too have a sugar daddy somewhere who likes to drape me in expensive shit to make the sale. I decided to simply thank her for the complement and continue suggesting expensive crap for her to buy...three sweaters later she comments on my dress...which I made myself " Is it designer?" she asks... I hesitated and then said yes...I guess it is Im a designer so yeah I designed it I made Im wearing it right? Well apparently Miss D&G on a friday morning isn't into local designers she made a comment to the effect of "Real designer...this n that..." I shrugged it off thinking to myself I could say some things about Dolce & Gabanna skinning a dog to make that hideous handbag tucked under her arm but decided against it and continued helping her highness. After a bit longer I notice her staring at my tits. Now this is great cause I was waiting for her to ask me where I got them or if they were designer so I could quip back with some smart ass remark she didn't unfortunately she just started adjusting herself and claiming she was getting old. She bought about $700 worth of useless stuff and bitched about her oldness for a bit more and tried to get outta me where I got my boots which I wouldn't tell. Even though the thought of Miss D&G traipsing around the mission with all her gold trim and shiny leather looking for my boots in my usual thrift stores was funny as shit, however I don't think her daily dose of prosaic would be up to that.
Funny how the rich are always wanting what I have...even though I design clothing from my home on a shoestring budget that would make you laugh if I told you how much I truly have to spend and how many nights I spend skipping dinner to buy that fabric you want pasted on your shirt tomorrow. How do I stay so skinny trophy wives? Thats how grinding my fingers to the bone so that some day I maybe can sit on your side of the fence if I want to. Even though if I had all the money in the world I would still aspire to be the ultimate in thrift store cowgirls. Yeah I leave the $1.99 tags on my hats from goodwill super playa styles and people dig it. I have my fair share of designer clothing hiding in my closet I guarantee you I never bought any of it for full price. I love vintage and I don't care if it smells funny till I wash it..Ill look different, creative and inspired while for all the money your D&G, Chloe, Faux gold trim super crazy expensive jeans and T shirts look just the same as the 19.99 jeans and t shirt knock offs they sell at Forever 21 that every tween from here to arkansas is wearing out to the clubs.
This whole experience has left me wanting a trophy wife for a day so I can drag her around on one of my famous late night adventures,get her wasted, listen to her tales of past beauty, dress her up and tell everyone she's my designer trophy wife on loan from D&G! Then drop her off at her homestead the next day with smeared makeup and a new zeal for life.
Current Mood: amused
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