Times they be a changing

"be a simple kind of man...wont you do this for me son if you can."


Things have started riling up for take off...I cant wait to be on a plane flying far away from all that has happened here in the last year. To clean the slate and get on with my life. The last year has been one long winding confusing road with all the pitfalls of vietcong jungle during the height of the war.

I cant wait till an ocean and half the world is between me and everything here. Unfortunately the thing Im running from is following me, bringing baggage and bullshit along with him. While I cannot change that he bought a ticket and has an agenda that no longer includes me. He still insists that " of course we will meet up" and as those words come out.. I find myself cringing in the corner. There is no love or romance for me there. Just empty words loaded with uncertainty.

How much eight months can change a person. Make you feel older, more confused or more certain. Less of one thing and more of another, all in contrast. Im glad I took the Dharma training classes I have taken during these eight months. Ive learned to passively over look people and their hurtful bullshit. Coming back to the I cannot hold onto things you love teachings and that my actions are all I have. Follow your heart and nothing else...you can do this baby...if you try.

I cant wait for the beach, the sand, and the heat. My heart will have to hide for the time being in my caved chest tattered and torn the fuck up. I really don't see stitches holding it together at this point. Maybe some staples and a blowtorch are in order.